Watergaw - Fit wey nae?

Fit why nae?

I dina understan fit why nae?
Why can I nae?
I'll easy manage!
"No yi winna," she keeps tellin ma
"Yi'll miss hame too much, an yi'll niver be able ti afford it"
I'd manage!
Bit...dive I wint ti?
Am I jist needin ti go cause she disna wint ma ti?
Am I dein it oot o spite?
I dina ken!
My heart belangs ti Banff...
Bit...my mind belangs ti Glasgae!
I cana stop thinkin aboot it
A the lights
I folk
I freedom!
I mean, aye, she's got a pint bit is she richt?
Dis she aye really ken fits best?
Aye she's ma mither bit she's nae iways richt!
Fit is I dina ging? An regret it?
She winna pit up wee ma moanin! Ats fir certain!
I'd love ti leave bit I'd hate ti leave ina!
I mean, this is hame, ma childhood, ma family, ma life!
Bit...fit if I need a new life?
A different life? A change?
In a way I'll niver ken if I dina try!
Bit can I bring mysell ti try?
She's ma mither...
She's dein athin for ma! Athin!
Dee I really wint ti upset her like is?
"Dee fit yi wint, bit yid be better bidin" she says
Bit I ken ats her wey o sayin nae ti ging
In her een I'm still a bairn
Bit in reality...I'm nae...naewhy near een!
I dina ken...
Will I ging? Will I bide?
Fit dive I wint?
...I dina even ken mysell!

by Kiera Mitchell
(Banff Academy)